FFT: Buh Bye Disclaimers
FFT: F-ing First Time. This concept was introduced to me via the brilliant Brene Brown in her first podcast for Unlocking Us. I listened to it back in March 2020 when on a walk during lockdown. Shortly after I decided to rebrand and start new as Grid + Gertie. You can listen to the podcast here.
If you have met me in the past few years, here is pretty much how I start every conversation when asked what I do: “I do interior design. I have my degree and spent the last 15 years in commercial design in Calgary, so residential is new to me and I don’t really....”
Almost every time. This has been my narrative and it needs to change.
I feel the need to clarify my knowledge and experience almost immediately, and put a disclaimer on my skills. Because no, I have not seen that episode of Flip or Flop (confession, I have never even seen a single episode of Fixer Upper. I KNOW!). That “have you heard of” conversation starter almost paralyzes me, a stark reminder that I don’t know all of the things residential that most people are familiar with.
Here it is. My big FFT moment. Residential Design.
At first I thought that transitioning to residential design from my heavily weighted commercial experience was a vulnerability. It’s new to me. It’s unknown. What am I doing? How do I pick an accent colour? Where do I go for custom drapes?!?! Not only am I “new-ish” to rural Saskatchewan, I am newish to residential design, and to be honest, I was in hiding. Hiding behind an ongoing job that I am comfortable with, trying to keep my vulnerability, my face, my awkwardness in check.
But then I got to thinking. Sure, I’m comfortable and familiar with commercial design, but each and every project I have been a part of was an FFT. Well, maybe not the third call centre, but each project was a new opportunity. A new office space in a new location. A new department or team to create a space for. A new design challenge. And each time, I took it on with excitement, learning and growing, making mistakes and drawing up revisions, and the final outcome was always one to be extremely proud of. I would push through. Get right into the middle of it and DO IT.
My language needs to change. I am Jillian. I am an experienced interior designer.
So why is this transition so uncomfortable for me?
I am now on my own. I used to work on projects with a team and other firms. There is comfort in numbers.
I am located in a smaller and tight-knit community. Before, I could hide in the city.
I know more about sourcing ergonomic task chairs than I do about sourcing sectionals.
Here is the thing I realized: yes, the switch is an FFT, but each and every project is its own FFT. Each client has their own space, ideas, design needs, style, and personality, whether the project is commercial or residential. I need to get comfortable with the discomfort of exploring and awkward learning. Developing my design process in a way that can adapt and change with each new client and their project needs. Questioning new trades and contractors and learning the best ways to communicate. Discovering places to source and specify fixtures, finishes, and furniture while finding ways to support my local region, the province, and Canada.
In the end, I want the same outcomes as I had on all my other projects. The joy I felt when the project was a success and clients were happy. The “secret sauce or the juice”, as Brene says.
I want people to get just as excited about their home projects as I did with the various office designs I worked on. The beautiful textiles, the unique pieces that reflect personality, the drawing revisions that move us closer to the final design, and the fun ways to add colour. I want to get you to get excited about developing a design concept, reviewing questions to clarify your needs, and meeting to discuss layout sketches that solidify floor plans. And the build up for the construction, the move in coordination, and the reveal. Yes, it is different from what you might see on HGTV, but the process is similar and each one is a fresh opportunity.
So here I am. Grid+Gertie. I am going to push through the middle of all the big and small things (just setting up a Facebook business account was a stressful FFT!) and just go for it.